Finding Home

I cannot believe it’s been three years since I moved to Chicago. Four apartments, One World Series win, Three jobs and a dog, later…here I am, and I couldn’t be happier.

My decision to move here in 2015 was definitely somewhat impulsive. At the time, I was living with my Mom in New Jersey, only a few months out of school. The first job I took didn’t work out how I imagined, and I was definitely feeling lost. 

I’ll never forget the first time I visited Chicago. It was a DREAM weekend. I couldn’t get over how blue the skies were, how modern the buildings are, how clean and wide the sidewalks are, and the Midwest hospitality and charm overall. I honestly never saw myself in a city so clearly up until that point. Jacob really knew how to pull out all the stops. Not only did he show me the best parts of the city, but this was also the weekend we officially started dating. I knew I had to get myself there, but at the time was living what I thought was the mandatory post-grad lifestyle. I definitely did NOT want to leave my mama ever (still don’t), but I was living at home, commuting to a job in Philly, and transitioning to the 9-5 world, painfully. I couldn’t get used to it, no matter how hard I tried. Things just didn’t feel right and my heart wasn’t in it (which showed). As soon as I fell in love Chicago, you can imagine where my mind was too. It wasn’t long before I was fired from my first job in Philly. This existential post-grad crisis made me feel like such a failure. I was embarrassed, to say the least.

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I spent three weeks here job hunting just to get myself to Chicago as soon as possible. At the time I justified this completely, and claimed I wasn’t running away from my problems, but in a way I kind of was? I knew I needed an adventure, and I needed to carve my own path. New York and Philadelphia seemed like a force-fit to me, but Chicago felt just right. I wasn’t scared, I was probably overly fearless to move to somewhere brand new, knowing no one other than Jacob and his family. I had never really been spontaneous before, so this was a pretty big step for me. Most of my best friends from college were in the nearby cities, and I already felt lightyears away at home in NJ, but I tried to shake those thoughts as best as I could. I tried to focus on what I would create, rather than what I was leaving behind (On a side note, no matter how happy I am here, I miss my friends and family dearly EVERY day!)

I now see how every single decision I’ve made in my life up until this point has led me to where I am now. Jacob led me to Chicago, then to my job, which led me to the blog, etc. I always used to say, “Everything happens for a reason,” but I didn’t really grasp what that meant until now.  It’s really crazy how everything in life seems to come full circle, even if you can’t see that connecting piece of the circle clearly at first. I struggled to find my place here, metaphorically and literally at first. I took the first job offer I got, which was regrettably not the best choice for me. I thought I had to go out and drink to see the city and meet people, and while that was still a rare occurrence, it didn’t help fill any sort of void. Truthfully, when I was first feeling “home-sick” yoga was my cure-all. Before I moved to Chicago, it was my elixir, and when I moved here, it helped in the same exact way. It was like a big warm hug from a friend, or medicine to quiet my mind. And while I wasn’t really talking to anyone at the studios besides instructors, I felt like I was in a community. finally. That was my first peek into the Chicago wellness community at its finest.

Eventually, I found a job where I felt purpose like I was making an impact, and I FINALLY made friends. Not Jacob’s friends, or my roommates, my OWN. Hallelujah, haha! Not only that, but this job supported my greater vision of my life (outside of the cubicle) and encouraged me to take my Tone It Up Instagram, and use it to create a blog. To share my story openly and in turn, hopefully, inspire others. I’m a huge believer in putting yourself out there. I showed up to my very first Tone It Up Meet-Up event, ALONE, and I had never felt more shy/awkward in my life (I never describe my demeanor this way, but it’s true!) but I have never looked back since. Soon after, I knew it was time to start going to and hosting more events, to grow my relationships within this community even more. I am also a huge believer that there’s always one outcome to every event I attend, which is why I say yes so often! 1. You meet someone new and make a friend, 2. You create a connection with a potential business partner, brand, etc. In reality, you never know what it can lead to, and opportunities are endless! 3. Either way, you’ll have fun, get a great workout in, and get free goodies to take home! The latter is never the reason to say yes, but it certainly doesn’t hurt. Saying yes to life has since become my motto. Continue engaging with those new connections after the event online and in-person over coffee or matcha.

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My advice for anyone looking to branch out in their current community, or those who are moving to a new one is: Embrace change, grow from your failures, flock to what calls you, and be patient in allowing it to become home. Yes, the place has a lot to do with it, but the community you build has a whole lot more. The best part? When I embraced Chicago and found my home, I also found myself.

Thank you, Chicago. xo