It’s that time of year again — birthday reflections! I wondered if I should even write one this year, since 29 is kind of a ~random age~ but when I truly thought about how much this year has taught me, I realized how much I’d love to have this as not only a memento for myself, but hopefully a helpful excerpt for all of you, too. A lot can change in a year, and I truly feel so at peace knowing all of the growth I experienced at 28 will make 29 a year of incredible experiences.
The biggest personal change I, of course, experienced this year was my break-up, and my healing journey made me love myself even more. Similar to how a few years ago I went through my self-care journey (eventually creating Self-Care Society), I experienced the same sort of transformation, and it truly felt like an up-leveling. Although periods of time were painful, I faced everything head-on, feeling all of my emotions, and processing them as they came up. I also really leaned into therapy + friends for support. I learned how important it was to ask for help this year, and I’ve honestly never felt so FREE and so much like me. It’s crazy how much can change in 6+ months and I am so beyond grateful and proud to be where I am today!
As I’m about to hit publish on my actual birthday, I can truly say I feel so happy, grateful and excited for what’s to come. I am so proud of myself, and truly so content with my present. I feel a lot of positive changes coming my way and I am so so ready and excited to welcome them with open arms. With that, here are my usual lessons + celebrations I’ll be bringing into this year.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help or support. So many of us are giving to others and speaking our truth, and feeling seen and heard is SO important.
- Therapy is something to celebrate. I’ve always believed this, but this year after starting therapy, I feel like a lighter version of myself. The feeling after a therapy session is the best feeling.
- It’s okay to say no. Every year, I’m learning to establish better boundaries in order to fill my own cup. Yes, fomo may still be alive and well, but it’s remembering there will always be other nights to go out. Recognizing what you need and honoring what feels comfortable and best for you is so important. Prioritizing rest and time for just YOU is so important. Your friends/family/etc. will understand.
- Spending 5 minutes a day journaling truly makes a difference in how you feel. The SCS hardcover has become a non-negotiable in my morning routine in order to check-in with myself.
- Never settle for anyone that makes you question your worth. This reflects in all relationships. Surround yourself with people who support you and celebrate you in every single phase and establish boundaries for those who don’t.
- Letting go of control and remembering you won’t miss what’s meant for you. This year has really taught me to be patient and trust and remember the big picture. It’s always hard for me (esp as a virgo) to let go of control and plans, but it’s been so freeing to come back to this quote.
- When anxious, get outside. Getting outside for fresh air and movement has been one of my absolute favorite forms of self-care this year. I find so much peace in just getting out into nature and walking/running/listening to music, etc.
- Money is not tied to self-worth — no number is. This is something I’ve worked through in therapy a lot. We need to remember and own who the f*ck we are without any external numbers/validation.
- Spending quality time dating yourself helps you learn and love yourself more. I’ve been “dating myself” and using love languages on myself and just being more intentional with my time lately. It feels really good to understand and gain that awareness of what makes me feel good, and how good I can feel doing these things for myself. We spend more time with ourselves than anyone else ever will!
- Reading is the best. Truly, fiction novels (Colleen Hoover – especially) have become such a great mental “escape” for me. I would rather binge a book than a TV show if it hooks me in the first few pages.
- Creative ruts/any ruts are OKAY. I go through waves all the time where I feel less productive, creative, etc., and I’ve learned to just ride those waves without judgment. Judging yourself in these moments isn’t going to help. Instead, take time away to be present and do something that inspires you.
- Ask for what you want. Speaking up/speaking my truth/knowing my worth has been a big theme this year. I always think, “what’s the worst that could happen?”
- Do more things that bring our inner child joy. Like dancing in your apartment, painting/coloring or riding a bike on the lakefront. When’s the last time you did things just for fun?
- On a similar note — commit to doing something new! For me, this year it was tennis! I am so proud of committing to lessons and seeing true progress! Also, I finally faced a fear riding a bike on the lakefront — the feeling after was amazing and I’m like, “why was I ever scared?”
- How to be more mindful and intentional when shopping. When I buy something new, I try to purge something old. Such a great rule to keep your closet organized and at bay. Also, while I have tried to limit spending, when shopping I really tried to get basic tanks, tops, and jeans that I can re-wear. Neutrals will never go out of style and It’s about quality over quantity.
- Where to save more money. Cutting back on buying coffee out, ubers (taking train or walking instead) and any subscriptions you’re no longer using is key.
- Find workouts that are fun for you and feel good in YOUR body. Everyone’s body and preferences are completely unique. Don’t hurt yourself in a boot camp just because you saw X, Y, and Z doing it if low impact feels better for you. Your body will respond and tell you what it needs.
- Charge your phone in another room. Establish boundaries with tech. Spend time disconnected from your phone/emails when you first wake up.
- No one is overthinking the same things you are. We are often so critical of ourselves over things that no one else thinks twice about. Learning to speak with compassion > judgment, accept and let go has been key for me.
- We are all on our own timelines. As I approach 29 and so many people in my life are in different chapters, I’ve had to really shift my mindset and look at the big picture. I am growing/learning so much in this time, that I will be so ready for something/someone better when it comes and it will be worth the wait.
- Similarly, the quote “It is not too late and you have plenty of time” comes to mind. It is never too late to start something or go after something you’re passionate about. And continuing this notion, don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. Good things take time and your hard work will pay off! Let others be an expander for you, rather than comparison/competition.
- Manifestation is real. Remember how worthy you are. Act like it’s already yours. What would you do to prepare if knew that thing you want was happening? Continue to shift your mind into this positive headspace. Practice “pre-gratitude” before it even shows up, and celebrate when it does. What you seek is seeking you.
- When you let things go, better things do come in its place. This year has truly emphasized the power of release (something I share often) and it’s amazing what opens up for you the moment you create the space. What you release can feel small, but will lead to big shifts.
- Wear SPF every single day. Always put it down to your neck and chest :). Invest in good skincare, always. I recommend going to an esthetician to gain their recommendations, rather than copying someone else’s routine. We all have different concerns and needs!
- Good energy in all of your spaces is so important. This goes for your home, the people you surround yourself with, and those you follow on social media. Remove/declutter/disconnect from anything or anyone that doesn’t allow you to feel your best in all of these spaces. Add things like flowers and plants or eucalyptus in your shower (Trader Joe’s is the best, and cheap too!)
- Mindfulness is so much more than meditation. How can you be more intentional throughout your day? Try music, cooking, breathwork, reading, etc.
- Spending time being single is so important. Having a season where you intentionally choose to focus on you and become/celebrate the best version of yourself will make you such a magnet for love and abundance.
- Sometimes not having plans are the best plan. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve loosened my grip on the “unknowns” and learned to just embrace and find gratitude for the present. Even practice this smaller picture: for example, when on a vacation, just go with the flow and embrace spontaneity vs. having a full itinerary. It makes life so much more fun!
- Don’t limit yourself. Know that you are destined for more. Switch from thinking in a place of “lack” to a place of “abundance” and remember that it’s this or something better.
I am so ready to see what this next and final year of my 20s brings. I truly have such a blank canvas in front of me and for the first time and perfectly content with waiting to see what completes it. There are so many unknowns, but I’m finding so much excitement in it, and I can’t wait to bring you all along. Cheers! x
