28 Things I’ve Learned by 28

WOW. This birthday feels different. I can’t even exactly place how or why, but it just does. I feel like the last year was the most maturing year of my life. Not only do I now understand who I am, but I own it fully. I feel like I’ve finally reached a sense of security I’ve been longing for, confidence in my identity and purpose, a level of self-worth and self-love that in turn brought so much extra value and love into my life, and more trust that everything has a way of working itself out just how it’s meant to.

I guess you could say that 27 was my year of self-awareness. At 26, I was foreign to the idea of living alone, and knowing how to be alone with my thoughts, let alone shift them into a place I wanted them to be. It was a complete learning curve both mentally as I tuned inward, and externally as I faced new life challenges and new milestones that sculpted me in so many ways. This was the time period I was also in a “lack-of” mentality. Believing I didn’t have enough time or money, feeling pretty lonely, oftentimes lost, and struggling to feel grounded or secure. I thought about giving up multiple times, but my gut always guided me to stay patient and trust.

Then, at 27, I turned to self-care, I deepened my self-love, and I finally believed what I was capable of. My personal self-care practice became a core pillar for my business and what I wanted to share, in the hopes that my story would resonate with others, and from there Self-Care Society was born. I was focusing on ME. Doing something I loved, sharing something I loved, and putting myself and my business first. I was creating something I thoroughly enjoyed and was so proud of myself – and not afraid – for the first time. This was when I met Will. I felt like I was a magnet to opportunities and my self-love attracted in love. Manifesting was truly becoming apparent. I was attracted to what I was putting out, and it felt powerful and magical in all of the right ways.  I’ll never forget, I asked Cindy (@revealingsoul) about romance coming in during a session with her last summer (2019) and she told me that when I begin “putting in the work” and focusing on my self-care business, the person would come into my life. Damn, she was right. As someone who was constantly focusing on what’s next, focusing on the current project at hand and diving headfirst into it truly was exactly what I needed to evolve in so many ways.

27 was the year of Self-Care Society. It was the first time I created something to sell and share that was built upon my own experience, and after launching that, I truly felt like I stepped into my power, and am fully doing what I’m meant to do. So many experiences have followed since then, and my lack-of mentality gradually shifted into an abundance mindset.

27 was the year I fell in love. I fell in love with myself, knowing my worth and what I deserve. I fell in love with Will. I fell in love with embracing the unknown. I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and into my power. I finally believed that it’s okay to not always have a plan, and just to trust that good things are coming my way as long as I keep working hard, doing what I love, and put the positive vibes out there.

Of course, mid-way through 27 the pandemic hit. I started the year with the words ADAPTABILITY and EXPANSION in mind for my 2020 intentions. Like I said, I started to become comfortable with the unknown, but I had no idea how much that would be tested, or how much adapting I’d actually be doing. It’s safe to say we’ve all learned so much about ourselves during this time. The Self-Care Society launch was the bright light amongst this time. Quarantine allowed me to expand upon that vision, creating workshops that connected me to so many more of you, across the country (and even beyond). It showed me that I can lead to live journaling sessions. It allowed me to recognize how creative you can get, even when stuck inside 500 sq. feet. It also connected me way deeper into my emotions. I’ve never been as emotional as I am these days, but I recognize it’s just because I care and I feel so deeply, and I have no reason to hold that back – it is who I am, and I’ve learned to love that side of me, too.

So as I enter 28, my Saturn return (a pivotal point in your life, astrologically, as Saturn returns to the same place in the sky it was located during your time of birth), I feel at such peace with myself. I am SO happy, so excited about where life is going and where it’s taking me, and really appreciative of all of the ups and downs (I know I don’t emphasize the downs too much, but trust me, they happen). I have no idea what 2020 and 2021 hold, but I do know that 28 will be an amazing year, because after two years of “figuring it out” I finally understand who I am, and I own it proudly. I’ve learned my truth, and now it’s time to live it.

28 THINGS I’VE LEARNED BY 28

1. Your environment is everything. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive individuals, in a place that feels grounding, comforting, and inspiring to you is key. Different phases in life lead you to different environments, but moving to Chicago, and then moving into my current apartment have opened me up to how much this sense of change has allowed me to grow. This doesn’t mean you have to move, but make sure you’re in a place of positive energy to feel your best.
2. Setting boundaries is critical. Cutting out toxic relationships, disconnecting, and giving space to yourself in all ways is so important. If you’re constantly doing for others, or feeding off others energy, you can’t accurately connect to yourself. If you don’t want to do something, just say no.
3. Daily check-ins set the tone for the day. Starting my day by checking in with how I feel, thinking of what I’m grateful for, and even setting a mantra immediately make my day better, and it takes five minutes. I’ve noticed when I’m doing Self-Care Society, I’m doing this more regularly, and I 100% feel better.
4. Movement is medicine…but only when it’s the kind of movement you like. Life is too short to do workouts you don’t enjoy. Lately – especially in quarantine – I explored a lot of different workouts and I found what I love, and I’m so much more inspired to move now. Focusing on how it makes me FEEL and how I can RELEASE vs. how much I burn has also caused a huge shift for me and has allowed me to enjoy more freely.
5. Find friends/mentors on a similar path. At 26 I met a lot of new friends (thanks to Instagram) who were SUCH expanders for me. They helped me so much in both my personal development and career growth, free of judgments. I’m so grateful for the collaborative community we have here.
6. There’s plenty of time. I’ve always been a planner and over-thinker, constantly thinking I’m running out of time for X, Y, Z to happen. Time does go fast, but I promise, you have plenty of time and things happen WHEN they’re meant to.
7. Never underestimate the power of good bed sheets. Seriously, brooklinen, I love you.
8. Manifestation works. Saying I AM or WILL outloud or writing it down has really helped me believe in myself and my opportunities, and they DO come true!
9. Know that everyone is on an individual path. I find myself comparing (unfortunately, naturally), but I have to remind myself that I’m only a few years into this job, and SCS is a new baby, too. Good things take time and everyone goes at their own pace. It’s apples to oranges and not worth wasting your time comparing!
10. Invest in good skincare. Finding products that work and applying them religiously is so important. I may be turning a year older, but I don’t want to look like it ;)….kidding!
11. Reading is an amazing way to get out of your head. When I’m anxious, reading helps my mind escape, and it revs up my creative spark, too.
12. Getting outside daily completely changes your mood. Nature is HEALING. If I don’t get outside for even at 15-minute walk, I feel it. Yes, Chicago gets cold, but this is something I’m trying to stay consistent with!
13. Throw sh*t away! Cluttered space = cluttered mind. I am working on this ….Will is helping…lol! But seriously, as I get older I cling onto my sentimental, valuable pieces, and everything else can be donated :).
14. Make your lattes at home. I know, I know, I’m posting my La Colombe Black & Tan all the time, too. But quarantine taught me that I actually make BETTER lattes at home half the time and save money, too. Win, win.
15. Speaking of…SAVE! I never talk about money, but I’m trying to normalize my mindset, which means talking about it a little more. So, truthfully, I wasn’t able to save for a while. But when I’m able to, I always put away at least for rent, and taxes (if you’re an entrepreneur, too!) I’m making a goal for 28 to be a year I invest.
16. Ask your friends/family for support when you need. If you feel distant, reach out. I realized that I can’t expect people to reach out to you if you don’t openly express your needs.
17. If you’re bullied (whether on IG or real-life), don’t even respond. Someone who is misjudging your character clearly doesn’t know you, and it isn’t worth your time. Don’t let them live rent-free in your mind. Delete and move on.
18. Things ebb and flow. Not every day, or every season, looks the same. Give yourself grace, and when it comes to work and productivity, remind yourself that it will always get done.
19. If you can’t be 100% yourself with someone you’re dating, they’re not worth it. When you feel comfortable being your complete, full self right away, and they like you for it, you know they’re a keeper. Otherwise, you’re just wasting time. When you love yourself, you know what you deserve, and you deserve for someone to love all of you, too.
20. Chocolate really does make you feel better. Every time. Without fail. As long as you don’t eat too much and get a stomach ache ;).
21. Stop apologizing. You know who you are and what you believe in, stand by those beliefs, and don’t adapt to others’ opinions. Don’t shrink to fit in.
22. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. They sculpted you. They got you here. If you need to do more work on this, write yourself a letter. Send love to your younger self, rather than disappointment.
23. There’s no sexier feeling than post-workout in a cute matching set. Let yourself dance around and FEEL YOURSELF! Tell yourself “damn, I look good!” Endorphins + positive self-talk = GREAT day.
24. During the workday, play calm music, plug your phone across the room and get to work. At night, set “limits” on your phone so you’re forced off apps and certain times. Disconnect to reconnect. And if you’re anxious, CBD helps.
25. If you want the cookie, eat the damn cookie. Eating intuitively, I mainly crave healthy foods because of how they make me feel, but when my body wants something sweet or savory, I go for it. Moderation > restriction, always. What your body whats is what you’re meant to have. Everybody and every body is unique. Cater to yours rather than following the diet trends for both mental and physical health benefits.
26. Life is short. Take a leap. Quit the job. Move cities. Whatever you’re compelled to do, there’s a reason for it. Don’t let fear prevent you from living your dreams. I promise, it may be tough for a while, but it is so so worth it. If something feels like a sign, it definitely is. Follow it.
27. Kindness goes a long way. One message can completely turn someone’s day around. Aside from having manners and saying thank you, reach out to people that inspire you and tell them!
28. Celebrate every victory. We’re so often stuck in the day-to-day work grind, and forget to acknowledge ourselves. From landing a new job to buying a new house, to hitting a new run record, celebrate it. It DOES matter.
29. One for good luck! The only limitations you have are the ones you’ve set for yourself. You are capable of anything and everything you set your mind to. Tell yourself you can and you will. Write down those limiting beliefs on paper, rip them up, and remind yourself who you are. “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair

Not gonna lie, that made me emotional! Some years of your life are just so pivotal to your growth. I’ve learned so much and because I’ve learned, now I can love and live fully. I’m ready to enter this new year, this new season, and excited for all that’s to come, even though I have no idea what that is.

Thank you for supporting me and celebrating with me. I love you all so much!

Photo credit: Paige Babilla Photography